As the new year begins I am convicted in my spirit that it is time for a change. I have lived in Memphis since 2006 and I feel like God is telling me a new journey awaits me somewhere else.
I am praying for guidance and wisdom and clarity. I feel drawn to where I'm from mainly due to my elderly Grandmother's need for care and to help my Mother as she has been the caregiver for many family members (my father, my aunt and most recently, my grandmother) and is burned out.
The positives would include being closer to family,my daughter, my best friend and a host of friends who are like family. My spiritual needs would be fed and I would be close to a multitude of cultural opportunities(food and the arts). The negative is the cost of living, taxes and winter weather. I have lived in the south for years. And while I love snow @ Christmas (my most favorite time of the year); I love the warmth of the weather here.
I also know about being in my comfort zone. While I am a true adventurer, in the past few years I have been through divorce, the death of my father and other close family members and change is so difficult. I am scared to step out on faith due to fear of failure or disappointment. Post divorce my children are in very difficult places in their lives and my ex and I are non-communicative and I don't see them regularly and I work two jobs to maintain my lifestyle in Memphis. My family in Chicago I am distant with because everyone is not real and they don't care for each other as they should and for that I do not want to be bothered.
I've always envisioned myself near the water. I went to visit my daughter a few years back in Florida and more recently Hawaii and the ocean waters call to me. They are calming and peaceful and given these last ten years; I could use some peace.
As this new year begins I am praying for faith and trust in God wholeheartedly. He has provided for me exceedingly and abundantly above anything I could ever imagine. Through divorce and loss he has given me unconditional love and support. I know the plans he has for me (Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans for prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".)
Please pray with me in finding my path and my purpose. I have always ALWAYS put others before me and while I know that's a true part of the spirit God gave me; I want to start looking out for Melissa and my vision and goals I have set for myself. I want to have my college degree by the time I turn 50 (3 years) and I want to actively work on a healthier lifestyle (mentally, spiritually and physically). I pray that I am treated fairly and that whatever happens; it aligns with what God has for ME. That makes me a BUSY BEE huh? Not your average BEE signing off.......................
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